A playlist for getting dumped in your 40s

music
Written By Callie Newton

So you got dumped. Getting dumped in your 40s sucks!

Everybody has been there. I strongly believe that each stage of life has a soundtrack, and every phase of a relationship has got one too! In this series of blog posts, I’m bringing you specially-curated playlists for however you would currently describe your relationship status: the good, the bad and the downright ugly. Whether you have been jilted, you have done the jilting, you’re in a brand new relationship or you’re happily in love, I got you. If you are unfamiliar with any of the music here, do yourself a humongous favor and download my playlists. You can thank me later. Seriously.

Headphones lean against a stack of records.

Here’s a fun fact: I have been known to give my clients “theme songs” based on what they are going through, an issue they are contending with or a crossroads they find themselves facing.

Music is life, and hearing songs that validate feelings we have or experiences we are going through is a pretty incredible thing.

I happen to be a music fanatic. I think about music all the time. I have music playing pretty much all the time (when it’s appropriate–don’t be concerned). If you saw my house you would quickly understand just by looking around how much I love music. I am fantastic at music trivia, and can name most songs in one note. I once sent an audition tape to a Name-That-Tune-style television show. I wasn’t selected, but I really believe that if I was, I would have been the grand prize winner. I’m not even kidding. But there’s a “but.”

The caveat is that my knowledge of music ends around 1991. After that, I’m pretty much useless. My favorite genre used to be called Soft Rock, but more recently it’s referred to as Yacht Rock, and it is my jam!

Warning: if you’re looking for current songs or any TikTok trending audio, you will be sorely disappointed. But if you are in your 40s or your 50s or your 60s, this playlist will feel familiar-like a big warm hug. You will recognize many of the songs and find yourself singing along. Hey-there’s one silver lining to going through a breakup in your 40s-you’ll probably really dig my playlist.

A hand puts a tape into a tape deck.

We begin with breakup songs. The vibe is: you’re dating in your 40s, you thought things were going well, but he broke up with you. You might feel stunned, sad, disillusioned and disappointed. You don’t know what went wrong and you are mourning the loss of a relationship that you thought had real potential.

Here’s a playlist for getting dumped in your 40s:

  • "I Will Always Love You" – Dolly Parton (and/or Whitney Houston)

  • "Neither One of Us" – Gladys Knight and the Pips

  • "The Tracks of My Tears" – Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

  • "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'” – The Righteous Brothers

  • "Un-Break My Heart" – Toni Braxton

  • "You're Breakin' My Heart" (also known as "Fuck You") – Harry Nilsson

  • "Even Now" – Barry Manilow

  • "You're No Good" – Linda Ronstadt

  • "She's Gone" – Hall and Oates

  • "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" – Neil Sedaka (the slow version is much sadder – there's an upbeat peppy version, but that kinda defeats the point of wallowing)

  • "It Must Have Been Love" – Roxette (cheesy in an 80s sorta way)

  • "Smoke from a Distant Fire" – Sanford-Townsend Band (Especially poignant if he cheated on you)

  • "Go Your Own Way" – Fleetwood Mac (fun fact: Lindsay Buckingham wrote this about his then bandmate and ex-girlfriend Stevie Nicks, and she had to perform it standing next to him at every concert they did. But she got back at him with her incredible song “Silver Springs.”)

  • "Heartbreaker" – Pat Benatar (Again, if he cheated, this is a goodie)

  • "I Can't Make You Love Me" – Bonnie Raitt

  • "Don't Leave Me This Way" – Thelma Houston (might make you want to dance a little)

  • "Love Stinks" – The J. Geils Band (direct and to the point)

  • "I Want You Back" – The Jackson 5 (unless you don't, in which case, skip this one)

  • "Total Eclipse of the Heart" – Bonnie Tyler (turn around—you know this one)

  • "Walk On By" – Dionne Warwick

  • "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" – Nancy Sinatra

  • "Alone Again (Naturally)" – Gilbert O'Sullivan (if you really want to wallow in depression, this one's a winner)

  • "Without You" – Harry Nilsson (again, pretty depressing tune but it’s endured)

  • "I Will Survive" – Gloria Gaynor (the anthem of strong women everywhere)

  • "Goodbye to Love" – The Carpenters (sorely underrated band IMO)

  • "Superstar" – The Carpenters (OK, the song isn't about a breakup, but it still works)

  • "It's Too Late" – Carole King (one of the best songs of all time)

  • "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" – Meat Loaf (funny sarcastic take on a breakup-listen to the lyrics)

  • "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" – Elton John and Kiki Dee (not really a breakup song, but at the very least a fear of the relationship not lasting. And a totally fun tune)

  • "Hurting Each Other" – The Carpenters

  • "Baby Come Back" – Player

  • "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" – Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond (sappy as hell but gold!)

  • "Can't Smile Without You" – Barry Manilow (stop rolling your eyes)

  • "Until You Come Back to Me" – Aretha Franklin (unless you never want to see him again, in which case, skip this one)

  • "Don't Cry Out Loud" – Melissa Manchester (As a therapist, this goes against my strong belief in honoring all of your feelings, but still a great song)

  • "You Oughta Know" – Alanis Morissette (You should know that I consider this a current, new song. So yeah.)

  • "I'll Never Fall in Love Again" – Dionne Warwick (dramatic and wonderful)

  • "What the World Needs Now" – Jackie DeShannon

  • "Feelings" – Morris Albert (Perhaps the cheesiest song ever written)

  • "All Out of Love" – Air Supply (Actually, any Air Supply album is great to listen to during a breakup, preferably with a pint of Ben & Jerry's)

  • "What Is Life?" – George Harrison

  • "For Lovin' Me" – Gordon Lightfoot (He basically blames the woman he broke up with-”that’s what you get for lovin me”-Eek!”)

  • "Got to Begin Again" – Billy Joel (gorgeous, gorgeous song. It’s from an album that was recorded at the wrong speed but don’t let that part distract you)

  • "Where Do Broken Hearts Go?" – Whitney Houston

  • "What's Love Got to Do with It?" – Tina Turner

  • "All Things Must Pass" – George Harrison

  • "Fool If You Think It’s Over" – Chris Rea

  • "Yesterday" – The Beatles

  • "Against All Odds" – Phil Collins

  • "Where Did Our Love Go" – The Supremes

  • "I’m Still Standing" – Elton John

  • "You Could Have Been With Me" – Sheena Easton (love love love this song)

  • "Chain of Fools" – Aretha Franklin

  • "Piece of My Heart" – Big Brother & the Holding Company

  • "Taking it all Too Hard" – Genesis (another one of my all-time favorite breakup songs)

  • "A Little More Love" – Olivia Newton-John

  • "Oh No" – Commodores (I mean, perfection)

  • "Wasted Time" – Eagles (Perhaps the most poignant song on the list, as the basic message is that there is no wasted time. We live, we learn, and we take all of our experiences with us on our journey. That makes it a great song to end with).

Callie Newton
Next

Am I a bad mom?: How to deal with parenting guilt